My Little Gnudren,
It is Autumn and the penitential season of Advent is nearly upon us. In some churches, the flower arrangers have four weeks off because we Anglicans are not allowed flowers when we are being penitential. Neither do we sing the Gloria, lest we become too jolly. In other Churches, the folks don’t know what Advent is, or the Gloria, nor do they even care. And God loves both sets of people just as much, and he also loves other groups of dull people who have no peculiar observances like us. [No wonder the Authorised Version of the Bible says: For ye are… a peculiar people,1 Peter 2:9.] God loves us all; he even loves and forgives those who will insist on accompanying traditional hymns and Christmas Carols with guitars.
Definitely not Advent!
Probably Advent or the flower arranging rota has fallen apart…
Can’t be sure.
Autumn is also the season of bonfires. Well Old Gnu is also piling up stuff to have a massive bonfire. He is ditching even more of the arrangements of hymns and warship songs from past years. They are taking up too much space; space which is badly required for new spiritual exercises [building a model railway]. But here is one arrangement for which he has a soft spot. It’s the first hymn he ever arranged for the small Christ Church Orchestra a month after his arrival in September 1976. Before he sends it to the flames of Tophet – [please visit Mr. WakiPedia and he will explain everything about Tophet; and don’t forget to pay an annual £2 donation. Mr. WakiPedia may very occasionally get things not quite straight, but he is doing his best and doesn’t mind being corrected if he has sinned inadvertently. He does not claim to be divinely inspired] – he has cajoled the illustrious LA Philharmonic DLH Orchestra to record it in glorious technicolour. You can find it amongst the Gnu’s Bonus tracks here. This short hymn/song by Pauline Mills, Thou Art Worthy, is a real gem.
The arrangement is thickly orchestrated because once the congregation started singing at the tops of their voices, which they did regularly, doing battle with 400 or so of them and keeping them on course was a difficult task. Unfortunately this wonderful hymn went out of fashion all too soon. One of my lay assistant colleagues much lamented this fact. He remarked that when the congregation were singing their heads off, he felt it was just like being at an exciting football match. [Thanks for that comment, Simon, It’s been a great encouragement to me.]
Yes, I repeat, it is difficult to keep a large congregation in full flow [vocally] on course. But Gnu’s trusty band of instrumentalists and singers, numbering anything between 30 and 40+ at any given 6.30pm service throughout the year, were highly flattered when they were told the music was too loud. It means they’d won.
At Christmas, – that’s the church season after Advent – we usually held 4 Candlelight Carol Services each year. These were a particular challenge because anything up to 800 could attend any one of them, together with an additional overflow of up to 200 in the porch and watching on screen in the Crypt. Here very special tactics were required by the small orchestra. Quite by chance Gnu hit on a wonderful solution. This did not involve modern technology or cranking up the PA. Some ancient technology did the trick. It looked like this:
< – – – – – – – – – – 13” [33.02cm] – – – – – – – – – – >
This little brute – a Bombard – looks harmless enough and measures under 13 inches from end to end, and has been around for more than1000 years. The horse drawn Fire Brigades of by-gone days in eastern Germany were banned from using them as sirens because they were so loud that they gave a number of people heart attacks.
When Gnu discovered this fact from Mr. Percy Scholes celebrated Oxford Companion to Music, he could rest until he had acquired had two of these ancient wonders.
A mine of much need information about dangerous instruments.
An absolute must for all Health & Safety officers.
Fortunately he did not have to take a trip back in time in the Tardis to get them. But a pilgrimage to the wondrous Early Music Shop in Bradford funded by his father brought total gratification.
And so it was that at one Christmas celebration in the mid 1980s, the massed ranks gathered for battle at Christ Church Clifton. On one side was a congregation 800 plus; on the other, 3 Trumpets, 2 Trombones, 2 French Horns, Tuba, Woodwind, Strings and the mighty Walker Organ with all its stops out, and two small Bombards. The orchestra and organ scarcely held their own. But then came the truly apocalyptic entry of the two 13 inch Bombards. These cut through the huge wall of amassed sound with the greatest of ease like a dagger through the head. A number of the congregation turned white with shock, others were visibly shaken. We did not use them again. They have a very special place in Gnu’s heart and also in his shed even unto this day. In modern parlance these little beauties only “do” earsplitting loudness. They are not suitable for Taize services or for Music & Meditation.
And now Old Gnu must attend to his bonfire.
Vetus Pater Gnu
Academiae Musicorum et Theologia
Turris LA
XVI Mensis November MMXVI