“Though you wash yourself with lye and use much soap, the stain of your guilt is still before me”

Jer 2:22

My Little Gnudren,

Old Gnu had a vicious sore throat, was stuffed up in his nasal passages, and felt a mighty cold coming on. But no, he did not reach for the Centipedamol, or the Menslip Max Strength. He decided to take things into his own hands. Last thing at night he went into the kitchen and popped two cloves into his mouth and sucked vigorously.

This produced a burning sensation in his mouth but after a while this eased the severely sore throat. While he was thus gainfully employed sucking, he took unto himself a pint mug, and added a level teaspoon of tumeric, two-thirds of a teaspoon of ginger, a very small mountain of paprika pepper on the end of the teaspoon handle, one and a half  dessert spoons of cider vinegar, 2 heaped teaspoons of honey and two thirds of a pint of hot water.

He then stirred vigorously and drank deep. Well, all that can be said is that the burning sensation in the mouth produced by the cloves was nothing compared to what followed after drinking this. In retrospect, there are some precautions that need to be taken. It is best to drink this potion sitting down and preferably near a bed.  On drinking old Gnu immediately felt that his mouth was on fire, and something akin to a blow torch clearing his congested nasal passages. It was at this moment that he discovered he had some sinuses in his head he had been previously unaware of.  In summary he had a general feeling that his head, including his horns, was being clean blown off.

He went unconscious pretty quickly, (hence the need to be near a bed). But behold!  He woke up the next morning having slept like a snoring log with not one hint of a cold [or common sense]. Mrs. Gnu will testify she was amazed at the transformation. And behold, it is now even the third day since these things happened whereof Mrs. Gnu is witness, She still continues to be amazed, but like an unbeliever is heard muttering from time to time: How can these things be?

Old Gnu however is heard muttering, Isn’t nature wonderful.

But another word of caution,  Do not carry the Tumeric anywhere in the house, but consume it stationary. Once it is spilled on to carpet it is like sin that cannot be undone. It is extremely difficult if not impossible to remove. Here is a link to help you remove tumeric stains. But a fitted carpet is not easily put into a bowl of cold water or hung out in the sun: https://www.wikihow.life/Remove-Turmeric-Stains. If you are taken with this course of treatment for the common cold, and like having fitted carpets in your house, it is best to opt for yellow carpets. Then the stain won’t show up so much.

Gnu scrubbed and scrubbed with many tears of repentance, like Esau, but it could not be put right. Neither Bleach, Biological or Diabolical Washing powder, 1001 Carpet Cleaner (nor 1002, 1003 or 1004 for that matter) could wipe away his sin.   How could nature be at once so wonderful and yet so unforgiving?

On sober reflection in the cold light of day and Mrs. Gnu’s voice ringing in his ears, it dawned on old Gnu that certain of our spillages in Nature may not be reversible. Us human beings must cease from our destructive spillages. Mrs. Gnu would strongly agree.  Amen.

Vetus Pater Gnu
Academiae Musicorum et Theologia
Turris LA
XXIV Mensis Ianuarii  MMXX