My little Gnudren,

It’s Lent and Old Gnu is minded to do some serious Bible Study and take stock. In the time of the Old Testament “Judges” – read all about them in the Book of Judges, – there was this geezer called Abimelech. (Read all about him in Judges chapter 9). He was a convincing talker and persuaded people that doing preposterous things was OK. The Bible and Mr. Waki Pedia agree that he was an unprincipled and ambitious ruler who engaged in war with his own people. Government in the Judges period was a messy affair. It took the form of petty chieftains who ruled in localities. Mr. Abimelech came up with a proposition for the people of Shechem and its environs. Rather than tolerating the complexity of government that was their lot, – and it really was going to be complex – he offered to make things simple if they voted him in as their king. This pleased the Shechemites no end. They even did some fund raising for him to get him “voted in”.  Knowing he had strong support Abimelech went and murdered the opposition. No one objected. They were getting what they wanted after all. I tell a lie. One person, who escaped being murdered, objected, and then scarpered before Abimelech could get his hands on him. This is what that young upstart said: if the Shechemites were prepared to trample on loyalty and justice to get what they wanted, they would eventually destroy each other. And so it was.

Within three years the  Shechemites eventually got fed up of Abimelech and wanted to get rid of him. They followed his example of “taking the law into their own hands” or rather making it up as they went along. This got Abimelech angry. But by this time he was a cunning strategist and had sufficient followers and power to kill the opposition. And he did just that, by the hundreds. He destroyed Shechem and killed the many of its inhabitants. He set alight the mighty refuge tower in the heart of the town to which his opponents had retreated. Not surprisingly, they all died. But Abimelech, not happy with the slaughter at Shechem went on to Thebez. Thebez appears to be one of those swing states that decided they didn’t want to vote for him anymore. Once again the residents fled to  the strong tower in the heart of the town. Abimelech, being  an A r – e, was about to repeat his Shechem trick – Arsony. (I must write to Susie Dent to see if she can trace a connection between these two words.) But something rather unfortunate happened.

There happened to be the upper half of a millstone on top of one of the parapets. Goodness knows how it got up there. Certainly not the place for traditional grinding of flour.

While the boys were waging war downstairs and fretting up upstairs, Old Gnu rather fancies that the Mrs. Doyle of Thebez, doing her tea rounds, carelessly and inadvertently pushed it off the parapet.

Now comes the physics lesson:

The moment of impact was shattering. Alas, Abimelech died. When they noticed Abimelech was dead, they all stopped the killing and went home. It’s amazing how much trouble and chaos one geezer can cause.

Some people regard this as history. Old Gnu thinks it might be prophecy if we are not careful. But looking around the world today the moral of this tale is quite clear: Thank God for Women’s Ministry!