My little Gnudren,
There is much happening in the heavens above us at the moment. This week (2nd-9th March) it has been possible to see all the planets in the night sky; 4 with the naked eye and the rest with binoculars/telescopes or bionic vision.
There has also recently been talk of going to the moon to excavate its minerals for use on earth. One leading person in the know about such things says it won’t be a viable proposition for at least 50 years. We hope he’s a pessimist. In his excitement at the prospect of excavating valuable minerals on the moon Old Gnu is furiously calculating the costs of fuel per mile to run his Ford Eco-Tortoise there. But there are two problems. Old Gnu has to continually remind himself that it doesn’t fly like Ron Weasley’s father’s Ford Anglia.
And even if his Ford Eco-Tortoise could fly, despite his generous Church of England and State Pension, he doesn’t think that his finances would stretch, at roughly 16p per mile, to cover the 477,710 mile round trip. Allowing for increased fuel consumption at take-off, it would amount to approximately £76,433.60p which Old Gnu could ill afford unless he sold his collection of 3,000 LPs and all his Brooke Bond Tea cards albums.
Granted it would be cheaper if he had an electric car, but old fuddy-duddies like Gnu are reluctant to buy into new technology, and it seems that now we are paying the price.
Is there such a thing as an International Outer Space Treaty? Yes, from 1967. It says that space and celestial bodies may not be appropriated by nations by occupation, utilisation or any other means. But let us thank God for Legal Experts who point out how inadequate our Laws can sometimes be. They say that the extraction of raw materials is not the appropriation of a celestial body. Aha! But before you get too excited, there is another law in the Moon Treaty of 1979 which says that parts of celestial bodies may not be appropriated. But this treaty was not signed. So we are home and dry. However, the cost of such excavation of the moon would be, in every sense, astronomical, but we are all convinced that the benefits of it will trickle down to all of humanity! This has been demonstrated by the use of Wealth Creation models for the boosting of our National Economy. The benefits have definitely trickled down and we have eradicated poverty from our nation.
Unfortunately Gnu could not find a photo of the non-signing of the Moon Treaty of 1979
So what are you waiting for?! Now is your opportunity to get speculating in raw materials from the Moon.
The Brothers Grimm, Jacob and Wilhelm, included a story in their collection of Fairy Tales about the Moon; how it was stolen by four thieves, who eventually each took a quarter of it to their graves, plunging the world into darkness.
Carl Orff wrote an opera – Der Mond – based on the Fairy Tale. He embroiders it a bit, but gloriously. The climax in Orff’s version of the story comes when St. Peter, in heaven, gets fed up of the noise and mayhem created by the moon thieves in the underworld. So to quieten them all down he hurles a comet at them. The sound effect of this comet hurtling down through the heavens and smiting the disturbers of the peace is an audio feast in stereo! The moment of impact and the resulting explosion is quite shattering! [It must be cataclysmic in surround sound!] Old Gnu’s neighbours must wonder what he’s up to next door.
Orff’s Opera ends very beautifully with St. Peter retrieving the Moon from the underworld and hanging it in the sky out of the reach of thieving hands. A child spots it with great delight, and runs to get other children and people to observe the wonder in the sky.
Perhaps it’s time for St. Peter to place the Moon a little further out of reach.
Vetus Pater Gnu
Academiae Musicorum et Theologia
Turris LA
IV Mensis Martii MMXXV
Interest line of Inquiry Mr.Tauntonian! The Outer Space Treaty of 1967 seems to imply that Celestial Bodies that can be observed from Earth are totally lacking in residents. Hence I’m sure the legal experts in Outer Space Law would argue that we can “rape and pillage” the Earth’s resources because we think we own its title deeds. There are no such known claims of ownership of the other planets in our Solar System. If, however, Mr. Oliver Postgate is right, and the Moon does indeed have residents, namely The Clangers, then human beings would be guilty of theft. And The Clangers, if they had a mind for it, could rebuff us humans by engaging in interstellar Warfare; that is, once they emerged from their holes and realised our designs on their resources. This could would make a very exciting subject of the next Trilogy of Star Wars Films. I predict Box Office takings would reach the Moon.
Does the treaty mean that the Earth is not legally a celestial body?