What I learnt in the Playground – (1) The Tooth Fairy

My little gnudren, I write these words to you while on pilgrimage in Assisi, the home of that great saint who was a great lover of Gnus and all God’s living creatures. Today forgive me for harping back to my days in the playground; but reminiscing is a sign of ageing in gnus, and it is a very necessary activity on two accounts. (I can’t speak for human beings).   Firstly, for us Gnus there is a desire to make meaning out of our lives, after all the regular TV footage of us being mauled and randomly killed by lions and more recent YouTube footage of us being eaten alive by giant Nile Crocodiles. We all need to affirm that our lives have added up to something. It helps us cope with old age. Secondly, finding meaning is essential to us because we gnus are migrants – probably the largest population of migrant mammals on the planet – and it helps with our sense of belonging. For those who find migrants difficult I direct their attention to what the United Nations Environmental Programme has to say:

Wildebeest (Gnu) migrations are important both ecologically and economically. They play a vital role in ecosystem function and provide a number of important ecosystem services. They also have a direct effect on predator populations and other wildlife species, and on grass food resources (Sinclair et al., 2008). Economically,…migrations are important because they…contribute significantly to national economies. 

But I digress, so let me take you straight to the playground of Cranworth Primary School sometime in the mid 1950s. Two minors have had a baby tooth fall out on the same day; one is a true Norfolkian  – we shall call him HK as I haven’t asked his permission to tell this story – and the other is a migrant Gnu Minor who is very green behind the horns when it comes to the traditions of East Anglians. HK says to Gnu Minor, “If you put your tooth under the pillow when you go to bed at night, the Tooth Fairy will come along while you are asleep and replace it with a sixpence.” This was truly glad tidings to Gnu Minor  whose weekly pocket money only amounted to thrupence per week. So he eagerly placed it under his pillow and took a long time to fall asleep because of his excitement. But alas! On waking the same rotten tooth was still there! Back in the playground the next day, Gnu Minor reported to HK that he had not been visited by the Tooth Fairy and felt even more unaffirmed when HK showed him his shiny new sixpence.

But after school HK took Gnu Minor on a longish walk to the shop at Southburgh where he purchased sixpence worth of sweets of various sorts and shared them with Gnu Minor who was ‘not a little comforted’ by this generous Godlike act of grace. He rushed home to tell Mother Gnu the whole saga(in the manner of Rupert Bear who was always reporting his adventures to his parents). The failure of the Tooth Fairy, the success of HK in the matter, and why Gnu Minor’s face around the mouth was now covered in black liquorice, was reported with great enthusiasm in full. Wise Mother Gnu commented that some of these ministering spirits of the night can get rather busy and that Gnu Minor should not give up on the Tooth Fairy. Some weeks later after another ejection from the mouth and a similar depositing under the pillow, Gnu Minor woke up to a fairly shiny thrupenny piece. It wasn’t sixpence, but it was good enough for him that he had received a visitation from the Ministering Spirit,  and inevitably more liquorice round the mouth was duly applied after a long walk to the sweet shop at Southburgh.

This incident that started in the playground (and ended up in the sweet shop at Southburgh) marked young Gnu Minor for life. How do I know? Because I was that Gnu.

And now I am old and can’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning, but the taste of liquorice sticks, well over six decades ago, is still fresh in my mouth and mind. God bless you HK wherever you are!!
(If anyone can tell me where liquorice sticks can still be purchased I should be obliged. Alas, I have found none on Pilgrimage in Assisi.)

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  1. Have you been drinking again Russell? There are odd stray words in your comments. My son, I have prayed for you today in Chiesa Gesu, Santa Maria d’Aracoeli, Santa de Lareto, Basicilca of somebody or other and Damiano, the Carmelite Church alla Monte, Santa Maria Maggore and Santa Prassede.
    Seven in all, in this humble little city of Roma. And there are dozens to go and mercifully there are also enough Gelateria to sustain weary pilgrims. I had to pop into one or two today to sustain me in my prayers for you. I hope you are feeling better now. I certainly am. (Prayer works wonders). Remember the jibe: “He who forgets the language of gratitude is not likely to be on speaking terms with God.” We must be grateful for ALL the good things that God has given us to enjoy.
    Padre Gnu.

  2. Աստված մեզ տալիս է բոլոր բաները առատորեն վայելել. Նույնիսկ liquorice ձողիկներ. Ես երբ մենք ուտում նրանց հետ շնորհակալութեամբ մենք մոտ ենք Աստծուն. Amen.

  3. Shame upon you! You shameless brute!! Didn’t such an act of generosity move you to think of the generosity of God? It should have moved you to give yourself sacrificial to the mission field where you could have done us, at least, less harm! Is all you think about your stomach?

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