My little Gnudren the holiday season has been upon us. Some of the fortunate or unfortunate among us – it depends on how you look at it – have been able to take time away from the normal routine of life. I have been surprised at how much time life takes up, usually when you want to do something else. But this is the price we pay for being human/gnuman. Being human and being retired is, to borrow words from one of the Church of England services, an honourable estate into which a man …. enters after serious thought … in which he is united with his shed … that as they grow together in love and trust they shall be united in heart, body and mind. Mrs. Gnu, with whom I share another honourable estate, (also mentioned in the Book of Common Prayer), is very much of the mind of Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice who says of her husband clergyman (Mr. Collins), “I encourage him to spend time in the garden”.

Having returned to the more normal routine of life and his shed, Old Gnu thought he might cheer you by offering you an insight into the things that shall be hereafter; but not in the manner of the Book of Revelation. No nasty beasts involved here, unlike this example of a really Nasty Beast that has recently escaped from the Book of Revelation:

Neither will there be spooky darkness nor moving tables, which, beware, can occur if there is a power cut and one trips over the table. This unveiling of future events may cheer some, and fill others with horror. God being my helper, and in Her good will, between now and Christmas some of the following shall appear:

• Some more children’s songs, eventually in such number as could comprise an album. This is an act of gratitude to those, now no longer, children who sang them with such gusto in church and school and are now seeking psychotherapy. I wish them well and hope they are not scarred for life.

• The whole of the Aberystwyth University Hall Service (1986) has now been recovered from an old cassette which has made a full confession of what it heard on that occasion. It could no longer cope with the emotional burden it had carried for 31 years. To be brutally honest it ended up as a Judas Cassette (see Acts 1:18[KJAV] …. and all his bowels gushed out). The digitalized soundtrack now needs to be cleaned up sonically, and repairs made to the damaged bits. As this is done, individual items will appear one by one until all 11 musical items are available. Sanctaidd (“Bright the Vision”) from that service can already be found in the bonus tracks menu. If you listen to this, it may help you to know what to avoid.

 

• Also in process of issuing forth is an occasional series of pieces which we shall call Verbotene Stücke This could be Italian, (French, Spanish…who knows?) for: “one of my colleagues doesn’t like this very much.” So, these are items that never saw the light of day until now. And after you have heard them you may say “Thank God for honest colleagues!” This genre of material is very much in the spirit of ‘Entartete Musik’, the compositions of Jewish Composers which were forbidden by Hitler. Old Gnu wishes to stand in solidarity with such composers.

• The first Christmas Album (GNU 007) – Candlelit Carols from Christ Church Clifton will appear in its entirety before Christmas 2017.  It used to look something like this:
  

All the rest will partially dribble through, slowly but surely, like a troublesome leak that cannot be stopped or traced. By now I think you may have gathered that that Old Gnu is a great dribbler. It happens to us all eventually.

 

 

 

 

For all these wonders listed above and many others we are all duty bound to give our unfeigned thanks to the gnu-tube.com website manager, artistic director, producer, censor, editor in chief and martyr (all one person), who spends many hours formatting, editing and making Old Gnu’s cack-handed offerings available on this mirabulous website. He does not like to be mentioned by name but his personal website can be found  here.

Isn’t the internet wonderful?  Everything you want to forget is there. And everything about you is known. Adverts appear on the sides of pages you visit that are specifically aimed at your personal profile and likely shopping requirements. I am continually bombarded with adverts for incontinence pads for men. This was no doubt due to the fact that I once typed into Google an enquiry about how not to go so regularly. But why Brigette from Lithuania is keen to get my attention, with a particularly provocative picture attached, is beyond my ken. She obviously hasn’t seen the adverts for incontinence pads.

Vetus Pater Gnu,
Cantoris Praesultatoris
Turris, Oppidum Longum Cineres Aboris (LA)
Festum est dies S.Eusebius et Multis Aliis – fac tua elegit
XXV Augustus MMXVII